I feel so down. I just wish everyone would finally go upstairs and stop calling and just leave so I can stop fake smiling and swallowing this lump in my throat before saying goodnight and thanks for calling… This shift can not end quick enough. I want mima to move back to new york. I want things to be normal with court. I don’t want things to change with troy. I wanna pay my rent. I need to move out. I need my mom to find a husband and peace. I’m so tired. I want to go into a short dreamless coma.